How to support a friend, who’s struggling with their mental health
© Ollie Hirst - @olliehirstillustration
This year Mental Health Awareness Week falls at an interesting point in our timeline. ‘Normal life’ seems to be within reaching distance, but there’s no doubting the lasting effects of the pandemic won’t just disappear overnight.
MHAW 2020 was very much focused on survival mode. Doing anything and everything we could to protect our mental health and the people closest to us. But as everyone comes out of lockdown at their own pace, it’s important to remember that not everyone is ready to cram into a pub, train carriage, or cinema - and that’s totally OK.
But regardless of the cause, how can we support our friends, family, colleagues or neighbours, who might be struggling with their mental health?
© Alice Radford - @aliaeces
Listen, be present and be patient
It’s ok to not have all the answers. More often than not, you don't need to do anything but show up when they need you. Let your friend know that you’re there for them whenever they need you and let them get everything off their chest. You have two ears and one mouth, use them in that order.
Not every conversation has to be deep and meaningful though. Sometimes the best thing you can do is provide a positive distraction! Whether that be chatting about the trashy TV show you both love, favourite new recipe, or latest football game, check in regularly.
© Joana Dionisio - @jjooartt
Be vulnerable and embrace your emotions
We don’t always share our emotions, in fear of how they might change perceptions of us. So if you set the tone by being open and honest with yours, then you are letting your friend know that they too can talk about their feelings.
You don’t need to pretend everything is 10/10 in your world if that’s not how you’re feeling. We perhaps try too hard to be that chirpy beacon of joy around someone who’s struggling, in an attempt to try and lift them up. But there’s a balance to be struck, because sometimes sharing a feeling they can relate to is in fact far more powerful.
© Abi Jarrett - @abijarrett
Educate yourself, to deepen your understanding
To best support someone, you must first try to understand what they’re going through. Read up as much as you can, to recognise where they’re at in their journey.
Matt Haig is a brilliant author and Reasons To Stay Alive is a really insightful read.
© Tom Godfrey - @tom__godfrey
Take care of yourself too - you can’t pour from an empty cup
This old saying is never more relevant than now. We have to look after ourselves, in order to look after others. Taking care of someone else can also put a strain on your wellbeing, so remember to listen to your own advice and check in with how you’re feeling too.
A massive thank you to Ollie, Alice, Abi, Joana & Tom for contributing their wonderful illustrations to this piece. Make sure you go and check out their work!
For more resources surrounding mental health, here are some other great places to do some reading:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/supporting-someone-mental-health-problem
https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/carers-hub/supporting-someone-with-a-mental-illness/
